I've come to believe that the quality of your questions determines the quality of your understanding. Good questions are tools for exploration; they open up new territory rather than confirming what we already know.
Questions vs. Interrogations
There's a difference between questioning and interrogating. Interrogation seeks specific answers; questioning seeks understanding. One closes down; the other opens up.
The best questions I've encountered share a few characteristics:
- Specific enough to be answerable
- Open enough to allow for surprise
- Genuinely curious rather than leading
Learning to Listen
Asking good questions is only half the skill. The other half is listening—really listening—to the answers. This means resisting the urge to plan your next question while someone is still speaking.
Try this: in your next conversation, count to three before responding. Notice what you hear in that pause.